Well, the dirth of Blog-worthy stories continued.

I was going to tell you about my ex crewmate and the job that she went to the other day. I was going to tell you that the chap that she went to had been dead for quite a while.

And I was going to tell you that she didn't move him. Then I was going to tell you that the police turned him over when they arrived to check for injuries.

Then I was going to tell you that his face slid off.

But I'm not going to.

So I'll tell you about a job we went to this afternoon. As per normal, the information came through on our screen. "Two elderly females fallen. Both complaining of hip pain." Then the address.

Off we went to the address given. It turned out to be an old peoples day centre.

Now we were racking our brains on the way.
 
What had happened?

Had they fallen together? Had they fallen seperately? Had one fallen and in a fit of anger tripped the other one up? Had they had a  punch up?

In we go. And there they are, lieing on the floor at a 180 degree angle to each other. We had a little chat with them, I took one and my crewmate took the other.

Basically they had been walking and talking but not looking where they were going. Bang! walked straight into each other, knocked each other on the floor

As they had both had hip replacements and they were both having problems moving and both said it hurt a lot we really had no option but to take them both to hospital.

But we would need another ambulance. We rang control for another one. They weren't keen to start with and tried to send us a car. Not really a lot of good unless they had a roofrack. The other ambulance arrived and we took them both in.

It turned out that neither had broken their hips and both went home

Yesterday was nice. One job. One single job all night and he didn't want to go in.

Sterling work by our paramedic practitioners who were intercepting all the calls from people who had had chest infections for a week etc.

The guy we went out to had had a stroke some months previously and had fallen out of bed. We picked him off the floor and that was that.

Thats the way it goes some nights. I'm not complaining but I didn't think it would last.

So Yesterday I was a little under the weather and I didn't go in to work. Tonight though, all better so I went in for the first of three nights.

They've done something to the back door ( our garage has two, in and out ). It now appears to open and close at a good proportion of the speed of sound. No more ducking under it as it closes or you are likely to lose an important part of your anatomy

Anyway tonight was quite quiet. A doctors admission. Unfortunately the doctor hadn't told the old chap why he was going into hospital. As he hadn't left us a note we only had the vaguest idea of why he was going in. It's no big deal in the grand scheme of things but when you are telling the nurse at hospital why he's there it acn be embarrising

Then we went and sat in a carpark and watched boy racers speed round and round in their cars ( that their parents were obviously insuring ) 

Then to a chap with breathing difficulties. He had a chronic breathing problem and had developed a chest infection over the weekend. He'd had the doctor out earlier but really didn't want to go to hospital. By the time he called us he was really struggling. He went to hospital with regret but it was best for him

Last job of the night was to a woman who claimed that her drink had been spiked. Now I've been doing this for seven years and of all the people I've been to see who claimed their drinks had been spiked not one had it actually happened to.

We saw this woman and she wasn't completely "with it". She explained what had happened and it turned out that she had no memory of the previous four hours. There was no doubt that she had had a lot to drink but she wasn't acting drunk. She was disorientated and a little scared.

Somebody she knew, one of her " friends" had possibly done this. Unfortunately there wasn't a lot we could do for her. Her best cure was a good nights sleep. We left them and arranged for the police to visit.

It just goes to show, we all make assumptions on the way to a job, but when we walk through the pateints front door we do it with an open mind

I've just had a week off. Which was nice. Now I'm back, which isn't so nice. But Hey Ho!

My Crewmate is on holiday, he wasn't sure where he was going but he isnt at work. It was leave allocated by the resources department because they can't seem to cope when people have time that they actually want off.

They didn't put anybody in his place so I crewed up with someone who's regular crewmate was off sick.

It turned out ok though. For a Saturday night it wasn't too busy. Nothing spectacular, no lives saved. A drunken Pole got out of the rain. And that was that

Maybe tommorow will be more interesting

The Rohypnol fairy has been out and about again tonight. She's been wandering the pubs and clubs scattering her magic dust in peoples drinks. Her magic dust that makes people act very very drunk when they have honestly only had a shandy.

I'm being a bit sarcastic.

A stroppy nineteen year old at her friends birthday party. Apparently She had been drinking most of the afternoon and collapsed in a pub garden at about nineish. She was very very drunk and took a swing at us as we got her on the stretcher. This didn't put us in the most sympathetic frame of mind as you can imagine

When she told the nurses in casualty to F**k off as well we left her to it.

The night passed.
 
If you like you can put together a film montage  here of us speeding to emergency after emergency. Put the camera outside the ambulance because then the blue lights will be reflected off the windscreen and it looks really cool.  A good rock track as a musical accompanyment. Then you could have us jumping up and down on peoples chests and climbing into wrecked cars.
 
Think more old people and urine and you'll be nearer the mark

Then about threeish we got a call to what made us both go "Eh?"

Two old people found, fallen over, at the side of the road. We went on over there to see what was what. There were indeed two old people sat on the side of the road. Husband and wife, they had been out drinking most of the evening. Walking home, he had tripped, she had gone to catch him and they had landed in a big heap on the floor.
 
Unfortunately he had probably broken his arm. She might well have as well but it wasn't as obvious.

Then on the way back to base, we saw, at least we are pretty sure we saw, one of those bomb disposal robot things being driven into the front of the hospital.

Don't know why. The world is a very weird place at night  

My optician doesn't want to see me again.

Ever.
 
I had laser surgery about a year ago on both eyes and had it a second time on my right eye about six months ago. I can report that the operation(s) were a complete success.
 
I went from a prescription of minus 8.5 in both eyes to no prescription at all in the left eye and slightly long sighted in the right.

Best two grand I ever spent.

Our ambulance has developed a squeak, or rather its developed another squeak. So now it has a squeak when it accelerates and a squeak when it decelerates. Makes for an interesting journey especially as it's been warm and we have to have the windows open. The air conditioning is like being coughed on by an asthmatic squirrel.

As yesterday was busy today was sleepy and slow. Two and a bit hours in a carpark early this morning. We both fell asleep. Then back to base. But as is the way of things we didn't get there.

"Chest Pains at the marina". This was an "A" category call which means that we have to be there in 8 minutes or less. I don't think we made it but we were close.

Anyway, we arrive at the marina and its as quiet as the proverbial grave yard.
 
So where's the patient ? We wonder. We check the information we've got again. She's on a boat but there is no other information. We're at a marina. Driving round and round wasn't an option really so we went to the office.

They knew nothing about it. What next, door to door? Or hatch to hatch? Luckily we were spared this as a red faced man came running up and pointed us in the direction of his boat.

It turned out that the lady had a chest infection and it was causing her pain when she breathed in. As she had come down from leicester on holiday we took her to the hospital.

Then lunch.

Then off to a drug overdose. Junkies houses tend towards a type. As they become more and more focused on their habit everything else becomes subservient to that. Cleaning, washing, eating, funiture.

You get the picture

This chap had gone out  and bought some heroin, come home and injected it. Then he stopped breathing. Like you do. Luckily a friend found him and was poking and kicking him untill he came round. Its an unorthodox treatment but it worked

We get there and give him some Narcan. This stuff reverses the effect of Heroin and only costs 60p. I love it. They've just wasted their money but at least they're breathing again. 

Then some more cover

And basically that was that. A nice day and some chocolate eclairs