"Emergency call-woman fitting"
 
Off we went. Got there quite quickly as it was just round the corner. We were met by a woman holding a baby and she showed us in.

Straight through to the bathroom where another woman was lieing on the floor. Her husband was there and he told us what had happened. From his discription it did sound as if she had, indeed, had a fit.

We did a few tests which came back normal. We gave her some oxygen and waited. After people have fitted its quite normal for people to be confused and sometimes agitated. All you really want to do is sleep. 

All she wanted to do was sleep on the bathroom floor. The trouble was, it wasn't her bathroom floor. It wasn't her house. They'd only come to look at the house with a view to buying it.

The more we tried to get her out, the more physically and verbally stroppy she became. This is normal for people who have had a fit but must have been quite upsetting for her husband.

She demanded to know who the other woman was and what she was doing there. We got her outside, on the ambulance and by the time we got to hospital she was back to normal. Just like someone flicked a switch.

We saw her a few hours later and she was really apollogetic.

The first half of the shift started quite quiet. We were on base for a while and then got sent out on cover. We never actually got there though because we got a job. As is becoming the norm these days we didnt get anymore details than the address. As we pulled into the street there was a man jumping up and down.

"Do you think thats the address?"

He saw us and started windmilling.

"Yep"

We pulled up and got out and were greeted with, "We can see the head"

That'll mean its a.....

Up stairs we go to find a young woman lieing on the bed in what was obviously the final stages of labour. Between her legs was the amniotic sac. Her waters hadn't broken but were bulging and the contractions were coming every three minutes.
 
Ok. We're doing this here then. I got on the phone to get a midwife to attend and my crewmate got the maternity bits and pieces ready. The widwife was about fifteen miles away and would be coming at normal speed (they don't give them blue lights unfortunately).

This was really down to us then.

The contractions were two minutes apart and the bulge was getting bigger.
 
Then it burst and her waters broke.

Baby was coming. The head started to make itself apparent. We made soothing noises, because there wasn't a great deal that we could do untill the head appeared.

The head appeared and we cleaned the gunc off. The rest of the baby followed quickly and we attacked it (not litterally) with towels. The longest ten seconds ever and the baby cryed.

Yes.

All went well, dad cut the cord and baby tucked into her first  good meal. The midwife turned up about ten minutes later and pronounced everybody well.

Unfortunatly we had to take mum to hospital as she had torn herself a bit but she won't be in for long.

A nice job with nice people. My crewmate and I were all smiles for a while afterwards.

So there we were at my house on cover. Since I've moved we can use my house as a coverpoint. It's a bit better than sitting in a rat infested carpark.

We were sent off to a three year old who had been suffering with a bit of toncilitus and a sore throat. Unfortunately his mum gave him some popcorn to eat. As you can imagine this didn't go down very well, in fact, it didn't go down at all. One bit got stuck, he coughed it up and up it came with a big glob of blood. Mum saw this and panicked and called us.

He was fine though, well, he wasn't fine, he wasn't very well. But he wasn't any iller than he was before. A tiny scratch on the back of his throat which has probably healed all ready.

Then off to a chap who had just come into the country from visiting abroad. He was diabetic and hadn't eaten all day. Needless to say he got home and had a hypo.

He had been ill abroad and was still feeling under the weather. We filled him with sugar and he seemed to come round a bit so we decided that he needed to be in hospital.

We got him as far as the front door and he was sick, exorcist sick. I reached for the nearest available bowel and held it under the flow. Now he wasn't a good shot and most of it went over my hand. Warm, wet and lumpy it was one of the most unpleasant feelings in the world. I had gloves on but even so...

Then the rain came down, mother earth smiled again.

Sorry. Cars started crashing on the motorway. We got sent to a 5 car RTA which, when control got a better location, turned out to be on a different carriageway from the one they thought. We shot past it and before we got there were stood down. Non injury. We drove past it again but a bit slower this time. Then when we got to the next junction we got turned round to another job which was in the direction we had come from. Drove past the RTA again. We got there and were stood down and then went back again. Drove past the RTA 4 times in all

Then to a woman who had had a headache for two weeks. She had been involved in an RTA a few weeks before hand and had a whiplash injury. I would hazard a guess that that was something to do with her headache

Again there was a dark room with an odd smell. I didn't enquire what was in there.

So there we were, sitting on base. A fairly quiet night up to that point. The radio opened up and we got the call that everybody dreads:

"Maternity call"

It was in a small town a bit north of us that we also cover. Off we went, not happy.

On the way we got a message on our computer thingy. The birth was imminent.

We looked at each other: "Oh, bugger", the ambulance sped up a bit. Luckily the local responder car was ahead of us but not by much.

We saw his car as we entered the town. Pulling to a stop we headed in doors to find him with the mother. The birth was indeed imminent and the baby was crowning.

Righty-ho then. We all got busy. Baby was eased out, cord was clamped and cut and a full set of observations was done on mum and baby. We had asked for a midwife to attend but she was coming from about twenty miles away and they don't give them blue lights

All was well and good and now we were just waiting. Waiting for (a) the midwife and (b) the placenta. Didn't know which was coming first.

About half an hour later we got the answer. The placenta was the winner. Unfortunately it slithered down between the cushions on the couch. We retrieved it ok though.

Anyway, mum and baby are both well. We left them in the care of the midwife. A good job all round

At the other end of the shift came a job that in many ways was the opposite. A woman called us to her husband who was not at all well. Very low blood pressure, wheezy and not really with it. He was 91 but still, he wasn't well.

It was one of those jobs where, if you are the driver, you walk in and walk straight out again. The reason you do that is that this person needs to be in hospital now. If you have a couple of experienced people, as we were tonight, the other person will be checking on the person and making him ready for travel.

Got him on the ambulance and got his wife in the front with me. We chatted on the way about not very much. Me trying to keep her mind off things.

I would be surprised if he survives, to be honest. He has had a good innings though.

The night was balanced. We helped someone into the world and probably eased someones passage out of it.

Karma  

Well, I played the crewmate lottery again today. Wasn't sure who I'd end up working with for the night but lo and behold it was my regular crewmate.

First job of the night was to a 35 year old woman. She told us she had had a miscarriage the previous morning. She hadn't called anyone or gone to the hospital because she didn't have enough money for transport or any credit for her phone. Whether she had had a miscarriage or not I don't know but as it was her eighth pregnancy I think she was in a place to know.

But what really gets me thinking about these sort of jobs in these sort of places is the bizarre domestic setup. I'll walk you through it.

We were met outside the flat by some spotty herbert in a baseball cap. He shouted at me because he thought I was going to back the ambulance into his car that he had abandoned in the middle of the road. That put me in a good mood.

In we go. Past the whitegoods on the stairs, past the open bags of rubbish. Up the stairs, past a room full of ten or fifteen children ages two and up. All of whome were crying. Past the empty fishtank, past another room that was quiet and dark but had a very strange smell coming from it. Up more stairs to a room with a double bed and mattress (origenal colour unknown). Our patient was lying on the bed. Four other adults were also in the room. As soon as we walked in three of them lit up cigarettes. What, if any, relation they were to our patient and to the thousands of children downstairs was impossible to say.

And then a strange thing happened. I've seen it many times before and i still don't understand it. All the people other than the patient started telling us what was wrong with them. Almost as if they were jealous.

The rest of the night consisted of drunk teens, stomach aches that had been going on for years and lots of sitting in carparks.

Then we got a call to a young man who had tried to kill himself. We soon arrived at a very posh neighbourhood of one of the posher areas of the county. A very big house and two young brothers. Mum and dad were away and they had been drinking. Our patient had been depressed, He had tied a mobile phone charger cord round his neck and jumped out of a bedroom window. Needless to say, the cord broke and he landed in some bushes in a heap. Completely unhurt. Now the police were there as well, for many reasons, and they had managed to find a large bag of something herbal which caused a bit of an upset.

And that, as they say, is that. So far anyway.

Which are the last words spoken in The Lord of the Rings, if you are wandering.

I've moved house and had nearly a month off. Which was stressfull, knackering and restfull. In that order.

Whats new? We've got new uniforms. These are the interim uniforms. Between the old uniforms and the new uniforms that we are supposed to be getting next year. I must say, however, that they do look good. A lot tidier than the romper suits that we used to wear. As usual the issueing of the uniforms did not go to plan. A lot of peoples came a completely different size to what they asked for.

When they did arrive and people started to wear them, the stitching gave way, in spectacular style. After a days wear my, and a lot of other peoples, crotch stitching failed.

I don't think that crotchless uniforms was the look that they were trying for.

Today has been an interesting and fun day. I was working with someone I hadn't worked with for a long time and it was very nice. Feet have been a problem for two of our patients.

The first was a lady who was 100 years old. She had Parkinsons disease but still lived alone. She had help come in but basically coped for herself. We were called because she told her carer that she had numb feet.

The carer was very much of the opinion that we MUST take her to hospital. Now when someone says that to me it really gets my back up but we had a little chat with the lady and took a few basic observations. I tickled her feet. They weren't very numb.

We got her to her feet and she bimbled about her flat. She seemed ok, apart from being old. We asked her if she wanted to go to hospital. She gave us a withering look.

"Oh. No", she said. That was good enough for us. We left, pausing only to arrange for a GP to come and see her later.

The next person with feet problems was the complete opposite in many ways. A 15 year old girl at school.

She had had a panic attack, pain in her neck and no she was saying that she couldn't move her legs.

Hmmm. Sounds unlikely, we thought. Nevermind. We treat everyone as ill until we can prove otherwise.

Off we went to the school. We were met by a bystander at the gate. And she showed us the way. We left her behind at one point. It wasn't really a fair race. She was on foot and we were in an ambulance.

Got to the patient. I got my crewmate to tickle her feet this time. She reacted like I hoped she would.

She hadn't had an accident or a fall so there wasn't any damage. We chatted for a while. Then we sat her up. All well and good. We got her to bend her legs, which she did. We stood her up.

Lo, We made the lame walk.

Healing hands you see.

I think that it was a combination of the panic attack, an ongoing back problem and a bit of attention seeking.

We left her with her dad and left everyone else pondering the miracle we had just wrought.

Walking down the stairs on the way out we were passed by two women teachers. After the second one passed us I looked at my crewmate, she looked at me.

"Did She just fart?"

Listen. I can't hear it. I think its gone away.

I think, I think things are back to normal. We still don't get much time when we're not doing anything but its not as crazy busy as it has been for the last few months. I hope this isn't just a blip on the radar but we'll see.

The sun has been shining today, which was nice. It always seems to help my mood when the sun comes out, maybe I have a mild form of S.A.D.

Anyway. The rota changed at the begining of the week and we now have a load of new times to start. Unfortunately one of them is six in the morning. I don't care what they say, getting up at 4.30 in the morning is not right. It's practically yesterday.

I haven't been with my normal crewmate this week because the ECA's have finally arrived in force. I might write more about that in the future but at the moment I'll just say that my objections remain unchanged.

We backed him up today at a chestpain today. But as per normal it wasn't that easy. A 70 year old who was quite fit and well, went swimming at least twice a week. She had no cardiac history at all.

She had felt  a bit dizzy and had gone to lie down. Then she had got all sweaty and her chest had got tight and her vision had greyed out. Now this all says that her blood pressure had dropped for some reason. But why?

We gave her a full MOT witha n ECG included for good measure.

There was a bit of interference on it (you get that if the person moves) but it said that she was having a heart attack. We did another one, that said she wasn't having a heart attack. We did a third and that also said she was having a heart attack. But throughout all this she remained the same. Indeed after the third one the chest tightness went as well.

So had she or hadn't she? We took advice from one of the ECP's and he said that it could be Coronary Artery Spasm. Basically what happens is that one one of the arteries to the heart cramps, and constricts. Blood flow to the heart muscle is restricted (temporaly) and the symptoms are the same as a heart attack but dissapear within minutes.

She had it again on the way to hospital but we got her in with no pain. We left her about to have an angiogram so hopefully they'll sort her out.

And I'm moving house, which is the other reason I haven't posted much.

Anyway. A theme day again. Heads. And stomachs to top and tail it

Crack of dawn and we were zooming across town to a woman with abdominal pain. She had had it since about three in the morning and had been vomiting and pooing for England.

Luckily one of our ECP's followed us up and he managed to sort her out at home

That free'd us up to go to our first head job which was an RTA

Daytime stop-start traffic. A woman with baby in the back of the car. Ambulance (Ironically) in front of her. Baby cried, she turned round, traffic in front of her stopped, She didn't.

Very slow speed impact, and minimal damage to either vehicle

Problem was, she wasn't wearing a seat belt. We get there and there is a lovely star shatter pattern on the windscreen and she has a thumping headache.

She didn't have any pain in her neck so it wasn't too bad. We took her and baby in. Baby proceeded to try and eat the inside of the ambulance but hadn't quite finished the suction equipment by the time we got to hospital

Then to a couple of CVAs (strokes). They were either end of the scale as far as strokes go. The first chap was completely unresponsive and the second one had a slight tingle in his hand.

Then to a chap that had had a bike accident a few weeks ago and had been having headaches since. He was probably ok but you never know.

Then to the second stomach pain of the day. This one was a bit different. She had had this pain for seven years on and off. And today had had it since three in the morning (again). She hadn't taken any pain relief, because she "couldnt be bothered". The doctor had been called but would be an hour or so. She decided she wanted a scan so called us.

We took her in and that was about that for the day

I haven't written much since new years, I know. Basically because there hasn't been much to write about.

We spend a lot of time queing at hospital and there hasn't been anything interesting in the way of jobs

Anyway. Sunday afternoon we get a call to a road junction in the town to a man vomiting in the street. Drive we past it and there is nothing to find. We get back on to control to tell them this. Unfortunately they call the people back and we are pointed in the right direction (Which is nowhere near where we were sent. But such is life)

A man appears who has featured in this blog before. He is an IV drug user and he had OD'd outside KFC. He looked at me a bit funny when we turned up and announced that he knew me.

"This is true my friend", I thought, "I have saved your life when we last met"

He points us in the direction of an underground bin storage area where this vomiting man is.

No sign of any vomit but there is man asleep on the ground.

I wake him up and we have a little conversation about whether he wants to go to hospital. He doesn't, but he was very wobbly and having trouble staying awake. His pupils are tiny. He had obviously been taking heroin in some way although he denied it. Apparently he was just very tired.

Yeah right.

The "Good Samaritan" insisted we take him to hospital. We pointed out, for the fifty million billionth time in our careers that we can't just snatch people off the street. He got the hump and left.

Anyway, long story short, we got him on the ambulance, gave him some Narcan in the arm, to get rid of the effects of the heroin that he hadn't taken.

He came round a treat and discovered that his wallet was empty and his mobile phone had been nicked.

So, the moral is, if you want to render yourself comatose, do it somewhere secure where drug addicts can't get at you

             Conclusion.

Well, that was our new year. An interesting night although not as madly busy as we thought. Looking back I think you can lay all or most of the blame for the incidents on alchohol.

That was just the highlights. The rest was the usual mix of drunks, fights and old people falling out of bed.

Roll on next year.